slip slidin' / by vanessa

I had all this to say and then suddenly, nothing at all.

Oh yeah, now I remember. I wanted to say that there can be this belief in yoga that spirituality comes wrapped in a pretty Sanskrit package, or maybe couched in kirtan and maybe you burn some sage or a little bit of nag and then talk about being present and voila: God. And in fact, God *can* be found amidst all those things, but THINGS are never evidence of God.

It happens that we drop religion or maybe at least see the shortcomings of modern religion, with all its pretense and rules. We run to yoga for its freedom and its inescapable truth only to recreate the same religion from which we ran. Which of course doesn't make sense, but the body remembers patterns.

I was talking to a friend last night about bhakti, or, devotion, in yoga -- and about what joy it can be when the whole practice becomes an act of devotion. I drove home thinking about -- get this -- yeah, but do I *look* devoted? Because I am, you know. Okay... but do I look it? I mostly keep things kinda light when I teach b/c Jesus, there's no need to be all Hail Maries and rosaries, but am I being, or rather, looking, respectful? You know, I have a relationship w/ God, damnit. Definitely. So who do I need to prove it to around here?

More importantly, why do I care if I appear to be devotional or not? Isn't the relationship b/w God and the individual so personal and profound that it can't be validated (or invalidated) by anyone else anyway?! Sure it is. But stupidity rarely minds logic. And so I'll have to settle for walking my personal walk just doing the best I can.

Okay that's about all I can write. Super sleepy. I'll follow up on this riveting entry later. Stay tuned. Don't sleep; don't even eat. See how long you can stay like that. Ready? Set? I'll time you. Go.