i should water my plants. better yet, ask a friend to do it / by vanessa

Delightful Phrases
1. Evidentally. When a Southern (as in, US) friend of mine uses this word, she says it with such authority that I feel like I've just served jury duty.

2. In other words... It's like the author knows I didn't get it the first time but saves me the trouble of having to pretend like I did.

3. ...,as it were. Ghetto verb tense, and yet it still sounds smart.

That's it - I could dazzle you with more later.


I've decided to lighten up on the whole improv thing. That's right -- I've DECIDED. As if I sat down and made a list of pros and cons. ...Let's see, on the left here, you have all the reasons it pays to stop treating improv like it's finding the cure for cancer and here on the right are all the reasons you should just keep hating it. (Reader, it didn't actually happen like that.)

So it doesn't come naturally for me and it's awkward as shit, but it's only 6 more weeks, 5, really, since I'm gone next week and the upside is I get to laugh a lot and I'll probably end up a better person for it, and so-motherscratching-what and jesus do I have to bleed EVERYTHING dry and don't you know complaining about not being funny is about as funny as a lamp, and oh yeah, who cares? It's bad when even I'm sick of writing about whining.

I do have a goal with improv though -- and that's to get up on stage more. I'm always so afraid that I won't be able to think of anything because when I get up there my brain figuratively goes all foggy and messy like when you first drop an Alka-Seltzer in water. There's lots going on but it's just a big cloud. And I guess I'd like to get up there anyway. I mean, everyone is required to go, but I always end up at the end.

On a related note, after class last night we all went to UCB to see Cage Match which is this improv game between two teams. The Conroys beat The Universe. I bet they like saying that. I bet The Universe picked its name because they wanted to hear the announcer say, "Ladies and Gentlemen, hailing all the way from state schools, I present to you: THE UNIVERSE!" (The crowd roars.) I bet they probably didn't count on the announcer saying "Ladies and Gentlemen, by a nearly unanimous vote - your granny beat THE UNIVERSE!" As it were.


And one last reason you can thank your lucky stars you don't live in the 2nd biggest city in the U.S.: today I walked out of lunch to find Ventura Blvd closed off in both directions and a SWAT team outside the restaurant across the street. Good God it was unsettling. I freaked a little bit about how to get out since my car was parked in the middle of all of this. I still don't know what happened. (Not to me -- I know what happened to me. I mean why the police were there.)