New this, updates that, teaching yada yada

POSTED ON BY vanessa

It’s been a few days because I didn’t have anything to say. I know that hasn’t stopped me countless times before but whatever. (‘Whatever’, of course, is the universal cop out for the absence of a clever punchline.)

Let me catch you up on the latest in my FASCINATING life. In tonight’s edition: a new kombucha review (yippee!), updates on my “dance” class, and cool stuff with teaching, etc.

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Alas, it’s unfortunate that I resume my kombucha reporting w/ an unfavorable review. You know I have such high hopes. To catch you up, in case I don’t know you, I LOVE kombucha. It makes the world look a little rosier. Anywhoo, a while ago I established a rating system for assessing the quality of different kinds of kombucha. Read this.
Today’s pick: Carpe Diem kombucha.

Carpe Diem, I like your intentions. Drink positive! Eat positive! Live positive! Who could argue w/ that? I positively wouldn’t. Plus, you’re foreign — you know I’m a sucker for accents. Sadly, for all your international intrigue and wholesome personality, your kombuch doesn’t stand on its own. Dear CD, I haven’t had a Coke in a couple of years. Wanna know why? Because I like my sugar in solid form so at least I’m getting something (a full belly) out of the rush. Your drink? The healthy set’s Coke — heavy on the fructose and light on the kombuchose. So, without further ado…

Buzz Factor: 0. Dude you didn’t even get a 1. And, I gotta tell you, it’s pretty hard to score a zero here. I haven’t had more than fruits, veggies, and nuts for almost three weeks. I’m an empty vessel! I could have got more buzz off grape juice. Sheesh.
Taste: 2. You’re too sweet. I’m willing to acknowledge that my taste buds might have shifted since this cleanse thing I’ve been doing. Naw. You’re just too sweet.
Un-sliminess: 3. Good job! You have redeemed yourself. Kinda.
Total: 5
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Here’s a picture of the stripper shoes I am wearing for my dance class. Can you believe?! I have to wear them around the house to break ‘em in. I’ve been trying to talk Dre into taking the classes w/ me with little success. Until she put the shoes on. She was giddy with her new height. So maybe they’ll do the trick.

I’ve signed up for Level 2 which starts in two weeks. Okay, so you know that the REAL Level 2 (in Montana) is like my favorite place in the world to be. This is *nothing* like that. This Level 2 has the sassy moniker “The Outlaw Sessions”. Wow I feel so dangerous.

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Taught my first class at the new super bad ass Equinox today. It’s swank, folks, for sure. And, the coolest part? I’m teaching a meditation class there starting in two weeks! As you may know, I totally dig meditation. I’d marry it but since I’m already betrothed to yoga, it’ll have to be my mister. What’s the male equivalent of mistress? Doesn’t matter. The point is, I feel like it’s Christmas. With presents.

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Once again, I’ll say it: I am SO blessed.

About vanessa

Some say narcissist; I say solipsist. View all posts by vanessa → CATEGORIES kombucha. PERMALINK.

2 Responses to New this, updates that, teaching yada yada

    Sugar Blossom Boutique says:

    Slime factors are always to be considered!
    I am a freak when it comes to consistencies of things.
    I have the Carmen Electra stripper dance exercise DVDs. A gag gift of sorts. However, it is works then it works!

    A-Lo says:

    dang – i wish we wore the same shoe size! i’ve been searching all over for a pair like this. :-)

    (laughing hysterically over here picturing you walking around your place in these — HA!)

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