Alright Music God, this is NOT funny. Maybe you thought giving me Interpol was throwin' me a bone. It was not. May I remind you, that while I like Interpol (and in particular There's no I in Threesome), Interpol is not Spoon. I do not have a 9 year history with Interpol. You *know* that. I did not stalk coincidentally run into the lead singer of Interpol for many years. I do not know every single Interpol song. Okay well, I do, but they only have three albums.
In case you think I should just go out to iTunes and purchase another one, no. If you were any kind of god, and I'm beginning to doubt that you are, you'd know that the budget that's going to take me on an around-the-world trip does not include provisions for buying the same album twice. More importantly, I shouldn't have to! Just send me my stupid Spoon album like a good little god, and we'll be cool.
Look, I want to believe in you. Remember a couple of years ago when Pitchfork Media dogged SoundTeam so hard? Color me agnostic. In the two years since then I've seen some redeeming songs, a great show here and there, and capped off by the early streaming Spoon's of album. Yeah, you reeled me back in. I felt showered in your brilliant, harmonious love. Now? Look, I don't want to be a fence-walker, Music God, but come on, you mock me. I know you're going to tell me this isn't your fault, but you *know* I chose not to over-listen to it specifically because I wanted the anticipation of a new cd. You totally know how much I love that feeling of listening again and again and again in my car, cultivating that intoxicating and unique bond that one can only build with an album while in one's car. So I waited, and now I'm waiting. Looooong past when I should have been. The album was released ON TUESDAY. You know what day it is? That's right. It's THURSDAY. That means it's three motherscratchin days late. Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. I. am. pissed.
Please can I have my cd by tomorrow? PLEASE? I'll like be nice and stuff and I'll stop bagging on people for liking Cold War Kids and Linkin Park and I'll show up early to a concert and pay attention to the first opening band and I'll pretend to not mind that I'm begging here, even though you know I have a long-standing personal policy against begging.
Most importantly, Music God, I really need my cd because I've exceeded my own threshold for whiney blogs. I actually like being shiny, happy Vanessa. And I know you like me better too when I'm that way. So whaddya say... you send me my cd and I'll release my forlorn grip on the blog readers of America.
P.S. Thank you, sincerely, for Interpol. I'm saddened that my sorrow over my delayed Spoon cd has cast a pallid light on the (albeit, tardy) arrival of Interpol's album. In truth it hasn't nor can it, in the way that if your waiter dropped your molten chocolate souffle on the ground, it wouldn't have made the mushroom risotto taste any less yummy.