titleless / by vanessa

I bought my ticket today to go to Austin for Thanksgiving. Two months seem a long time away. It HAS been a long time. Is there ever that suspension of anticipating the future -- where it's no longer a habit? My friend Bianca wrote a paper once on why the Yoga Sutras suck. Aside from its high comedic value, she argued convincingly that to live in a body, in a mind, devoid of loss, sadness, disappointment -- the good AND the bad emotions -- would be retarded. I believe she might have been slightly more eloquent than I just was, which is irrelevant. Anyway, have you ever just worked on "stuff" for so long that you kinda just feel like: "Screw it, I'm so done with trying to be good, whatever 'good' means?" And then you just give up but instead of feeling like now you have wings, everthing is as exactly as it was 10 seconds earlier when made the declaration in the first place? No?! Me either.