This is for you, Mr.-A-Day-of-Poopy-Diapers-and-Vomit-Is-Better-Than-Your-Best-Day-Single: / by vanessa

I like kids. A lot. Except on airplanes. They should hand out child-sized Ambien for kids under 4 before they board a plane -- but that's another blog. I like how kids see the good in stuff and I like to watch their learning process and I like that you can totally make them do stuff and they're just eager to please. For example:

Me: Devin, dance like a monkey!
Devin: Okay! *Dances like monkey.*

How can you resist that?! Presumably, (hopefully), their parents are people who are totally born to have children and have known it since they were eight or at least their twenties. They don't mind puke or wiping sticky fingerprints off of windows and have developed saint-like patience. In return they get a whole bunch of love and have an instant conversation topic at nearly every grown-up party.

And yet, I don't want my own. I can barely water my plants. (Actually, I don't even do that -- our housekeepers water them. I think.) I'm one of those people who can't stay in the same city for more than a month -- much less long enough to waitlist at a reputable pre-school. I know my limits.

Maybe there are more than two types (the want kids and the want-nots), but regardless of which camp you're in, if you feel the need to evangelize your position to the other half, know that The Great Kid Debate is a huge bore. Just what is it? It's the (usually) public argument where you take a few people from the want-nots and they get all superior because they can extend adolescence into their late forties. Then you mix in the people who have kids and are trying to convince others that their life is SO. MUCH. BETTER because of their children.

My question is simple: Why is this even a debate to begin with? Why try to convince someone else just to feel better about your own position? Please be confident about the choice you made for yourself and let the rest of us get back to watching Jason from Current TV. Thanks, Mister.