Some might call it a talent. / by vanessa

Because I'm feeling all Christmas-y, I decided to bless you with TWO posts tonight. You should think about playing the Lotto.

I'm not sure if I've ever told you (whoever "you" are) before, but my friend Paige played this game with me once on the way to New York from Boston. (She was high.) It goes like this:
She asks the question, WHAT'S YOUR SUPERPOWER? She explained that your superpower is the human trait thing that you're especially good at. Paige originally answered that she's a connector of sorts -- she has a talent for joining people with similar interests together. There were two other girls in the car but frankly I wasn't listening. Mine at the time was that I'm kinda psychic. It's true. I have a pretty crazy sense of intuition. (This has no bearing on whether or not I listen to it, but it's there nonetheless.)

Anyway, since then I've reconsidered. Not because my psychic-ness has diminished but because it's been overshadowed by a more prevalent superpower: I can kill ANY conversation in about two seconds flat. Remember THIS? Well, what I left out of that post is that I made that turkey / baby comparison to a woman who's been trying to get pregnant. For years. She, umm, didn't see the likeness, nor the humor. Unfortunately, I have many more examples. Case in point:

I was at lunch today with my boss, who happens to have two lovely children and is happily married. We were having an otherwise nice conversation about Christmas plans.

Him: So, are you going anywhere for Christmas break?
Me: Yes! I'm going to Palm Springs.
Him: Palm Springs? That's good. What's in Palm Springs?
Me: A cleansing farm! (Don't judge.) It's kinda cool. You get this clarity of thought that is unlikely, at least for me, when you're like, eating and stuff. Plus you get to get massages and do yoga and read and go running and hang out in the hot springs.
Him: Yeah, uhh, sounds great.
Me: What are you doing?
Him: I'm going to Park City.
Me: Oh cool. For skiing?
Him: Yeah, it's five adults and five kids.
Me: FIVE kids? Oh god, how horrible. Why?
Me: I mean, unless you like that sorta thing.
Me: *Trying to pull foot from my mouth.*
Me: I mean, that's cool but don't they like, get up early and stuff?
Him: *Gracious* Yeah but I get up early anyway.

I like kids. I really do. Just not five of them at once. Unless, of course, they're doubling as indentured servants. Then they're definitely cool.

So, anyway, what's YOUR superpower?