Maybe you're Mudface? / by vanessa

Lo and I went to Spoon last night. Since my first in 1998 I've long since lost count of the number of their shows (including bd solos) I've seen. What's cool is how confident and developed their sound has become. 5 new songs last night. Excited for the new album. Oh and I'm still wondering why "Raoul Hernandez must go"??

I'm reading Dharma Bums right now. I didn't cotton to On the Road, so it took me a while to pick this one up since having received it on my last birthday. Only a couple of chapters in and already I'm swooning in fiction's alternate universe. It happens so infrequently for me (perhaps proportionate to my reading these days) but it's that magical phenomena where I find myself floating into wakened dream states in which the characters lives are my life, and I am not me (i.e. 2004/American/female/Austin,TX/Judeo-Christian-upbringing, etc.); instead this 37 yr old male vagabond on a search for nothing in particular circa 1955.

In other news, I'm declaring the ebb that I've been in since Thanksgiving to be, officially, over. For the life of me (haha) I couldn't escape this feeling of disconnect. No doubt the voracious food shovelling and shopping took its toll. Meditation felt labored and forced and boy did I avoid practicing. Funny that I had this spell since it came on the heels of the 40 Days in which I literally started to worry that I would never care about another world problem again since I realized that nothing is really permanent except change. Even now I wonder if I'm just addicted to the emotions of caring about strife and conflict and tragedy or if the events really do matter? So if my respite was reality or if now is?

Okay can't put off writing my last essay for BB certification. By not starting it I think I'm perpetuating my own insistence that "nothing's coming to me".