List* of things one would see if staring in my window for 24 hours / by vanessa

Kirk, the guru from the writing cult that I joined, gave the group a prompt yesterday for the 13th (I think) installment of the 500-words-a-day-for-30-days challenge. I was rill tired last night and fell asleep, UHGAIN, before completing the task. I really couldn't help it but the first thing I thought when asked to write about what someone would see if they looked through your window for 24 hours was: what kind of creep stares through someone else's window for 24 hours? I'd call 911 after about 10 seconds. Anyway.

6:00 a.m. Jonah, standing at the foot of my bed, signing both the word for "milk" and also declaring, "Milk. Dide," which is loosely translated as "milk, the other side." This is his way of commanding  asking for breastmilk instead of what we call "moo milk."

6:00 a.m. Me, feigning sleep.

6:01 a.m. Jonah, still there, increasingly more insistent.

6:02 a.m. Me, telling my sweet child that his milk days are numbered.

6:02 a.m. Ryan, pretending to be asleep so I don't ask him to get up and get Jonah a goddamned bottle.

6:03 a.m. Nursing my little angel.

7:15 a.m. Check, in the following order, Instagram, Facebook, work email, personal email. Fuck it. Check Twitter.

7:30 a.m. Worry about the task list of things I have to do for the day that I probably am late on.

7:45 a.m. Ryan getting up to make Jonah oatmeal. Jonah, destroying kitchen pretending to "cook."

8:00 a.m. Get in the shower.

8:10 a.m. Do my facial qi gong or whatever it is to thwart the spread of wrinkles in the name of Eastern healing.

8:13 a.m. Put on warpaint, clothes.

8:30 a.m. Kiss the boys, say hi to the nanny, leave for work and/or jump on a conference call. Or not. Some days I just take meetings from my desk at home.

9:00 a.m. Stop at Erewhon for my iced bulletproof coffee and breakfast wrap. Observe actor from Entourage, who more times than not is hanging out at the smoothie bar. Wonder how he looks younger now than he did five years ago.

9:30 a.m. Get to client's. Sit down. Begin meetings.


More meetings.

Even more meetings.

4:30 p.m. Drive back home, usually on a conference call.

5:30 p.m. Say goodbye to nanny. Play with Jonah, respond to email.

6:00 p.m. Ryan's home. Begin dinner discussions. What are we having for dinner.

6:45p.m. No, seriously. What the f*ck are we having for dinner.

7:00 p.m. Eek out dinner.

7:30 p.m. Family walk.

8:00 p.m. Traverse the hills by our house, looking for the gem that has not yet gone on the market. Wonder at the magic that is Moreno Heights.

9:00 p.m. Return home, brush Jonah's teeth, read him a story. One last trip to the potty.

9:30 p.m. Continue sleep negotiations.

10:00 p.m. Finally take my makeup off, brush my own teeth. Get on laptop. Continue work.

10:45 p.m. Begin writing my 500 words. Curse my life.

11:45 p.m. Nod off.

12:15 a.m. Hit publish.




*All times approximate.