kombucha thief, that was mine. / by vanessa

My kombucha was missing from the fridge at work today. That is lame. But I made cookies yesterday. Cookies are good.

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My "dance" classes may be coming to an end next week. They have to have five people sign up for class at the Westside studio else it'll be cancelled. Which will mean that if I want to get my money's worth out of those ridiculous shoes, I'll have to drive into Hollywood on Saturday mornings. So, looks like my 6" heels will be making their way into the donation pile. Which then it'd be kinda funny if I saw a homeless woman wearing 'em while pushing a cart down Ocean Ave. Except for the homeless part. That not funny. No sir.

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I had this totally disturbing dream night before last. So I'm in this gymnasium w/ a bunch of yoga people from bootcamp but I'd never met any of them before and I had to compete in this pole dancing competition. I was wearing underwear on the outside of my pants, which was undermining my otherwise cute outfit so I went into the bathroom to change. In the bathroom I found a journal that I realized was mine. I opened it, and it turned out to be the Bible so I started reading all the passages that I had highlighted which were super cool but of course passages I've never seen in real life and can't remember now. Here comes the worst part -- I had placed a bookmark in it and the bookmark was a picture of Gandhi but the edge was torn off so that part of his head was missing. I kept staring at the picture wishing I hadn't torn his head off. Mostly it was just everything above the ears, but still.

Seems like when you have dreams which stay w/ you, they're supposed to mean something. Nothing's coming to me yet but maybe it has something to do w/ my desire to find a teacher. I worry that alone I'm not enough to keep myself honest, questioning, and all that other stuff that keeps a girl growing. Like the spiritual muscles will shrivel up all prune-like or that my feet will develop a Vaseline coating to where I can only slide backwards or flail in place. Either would suck.

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Okay that's all for now. Except for one last thing... I'm getting better w/ commitment. I've been conducting little experiments and in an unexpected way I'm starting to understand the meaning and point of brahmacharya.