In retrospect... / by vanessa

I missed the mark last night. It wasn't about confidence. In fact, all of the confidence in the world wouldn't have changed my class.

I love to teach. I get giddy before classes, excited about the work we're about to do. I have a genuine love for my students -whether or not I know them. Before classes, I set an intention to provide a space for them to find light through practice and foster their connection w/ their own divine . Last night, however, I was tripped up in the experience that I was having and I think at some level they got that the class wasn't about them, it was about me. I was so caught up in how my taping was going that I couldn't see the forest for the trees. Worse, I kept looking at the external symptoms for the answer - it's the heat, I did one Sun A, blah blah blah.

Well this has been a really good wake up call. I can't even get over the irony of it all -- just earlier in the day I had written Achim about a teacher's intention and that it has be coming from a place of love to be effective. But last night, in my haste to teach a "good" class, I forgot about my role -- to serve selflessly.