Bruiser / by vanessa







Me:  Guess what?  I've got a shiner!

Boyfriend:  What?  Oh no!  What happened?

Me:  Barfight.

Boyfriend:  [Laughs.]  That's insane.  Who'd you get in a fight with?

Me:  Seriously, Ryan?  You think I got in a barfight??!

The truth is, I got this bruise from acupuncture.  Which is a far more boring tale than the idea of a barroom brawl, or even a fall down some stairs.  I bruise easily and while this is the first time I've had one on my face, I've bruised on my neck (which is awesome when you have a professional job), arms and shins enough times that I've seriously considered starting a facebook page called, "I swear this bruise is from acupuncture."  (Note:  This particular bruise was from a different acupuncturist than my normal one, whom I love.  Though that's kind of irrelevant since I think bruises are dependent on a ton of factors and aren't anything to worry about.)

But what I find funny about this story is not just the fact a remnant from some Eastern medicinal practice can cause strangers to take pity on you and be kinder, it's that my boyfriend actually believed that I got into a fight.  And I'm not sure who that speaks more about.