ahh sleepy / by vanessa

Perfection doesn't mean you don't make mistakes. So, I'm learning that. But I also want to learn the ability to make mistakes w/out feeling the cringe of wishing I hadn't made 'em afterwards. Is that a reasonable expectation?

Tonight while I was teaching there was literally a jackhammer going on and off next door. What the...??? Who does construction at 7:30 at night? It totally threw me for a loop. And then, when I had nothing more I knew to say about it, I realized that well, life is messy too. It's not always going to be quiet and serene and well, "perfect" and it occurred to me that my practice was exactly that moment: the realization that there's nothing I could do, nothing I could say, nowhere I could go and thank God. I felt really uncomfortable, still, in spite of its metaphorical value, and it's only now that I appreciate the lesson of staying.


Our (Alo and my) alter ego, DearBrutalTruth is in a state of flux. We both - okay, me - love to write it. Though we started out with a flourish, apparently our friends and their friends started solving their own problems. *Sigh*, I guess that's a good thing. As our year anniversary approaches, and the domain name is up for renewal, I wonder: when do you throw in the towel?


Tonight is my last night on the cleanse! I'm hungry.