81 / by vanessa

Holy cow I should change my myspace profile information. It currently says that I got rid of my TV, which WAS true and then Hav got me a really nice one for my birthday. I went six months watching it three or four times before turning off my cable. My news sources were the Internet and the NY Times. Mostly I buried my head in the sand though.
About three weeks ago Nay and I got cable. Bad. Very bad. The following has become my life in recent weeks: Work, exercise, TV, bed, repeat. Lame. I've been watching Gray's Anatomy repeats and Young and the Restless. Yep. A soap. I ain't proud honey, I ain't proud.

The difference between awareness and awareness with judgment is the difference between OIC and OIC - damn! It's a subtle but important difference. The former effects change, the latter prevents it. If the devil is in the details, then the devil is in the "damn". It sounds simple enough, but for me it takes continual resetting. What I've found is that I am selectively accepting. The lessons that I feel like I've repeated about thirty million times are the hardest to accept. And yet experience shows me that each time I choose to just watch, life gets a little bit easier. Eventually I'll remember this quicker and quicker until it's a natural way of being.