... / by vanessa

Since returning from bootcamp I've been keenly committed to using my intuition to guide my teaching. Both sequencing and speaking philosophically to the class have come with relative ease as I've been able to tap into what I've felt in the room. From that spot, the flow and languaging have naturally unfolded. Until last night.
Teaching a Power Hot class, all that came out of my mouth were the foundations of each posture. Alignment, alignment, alignment. Power Hot is this mix of Bikram and Vinyasa w/ one of the Bikram elements being that the room is kept around 105 degrees. Ouch. I noticed that the students were dropping and quick. I tried to connect, to speak to what I saw, but I could only get out the physical -- place your foot here, slide your scapula down your back, etc. It's no wonder that I became a little tongue-tied -- my mind had taken over -- panicked by how I had seemingly lost connection. Towards the end of the class, feeling a little defeated and fiercely determined to add something philosophical, I pulled out something about being okay with sucking sometimes. But I knew I was speaking to myself.
After class I avoided my friend Hannah because I didn't want feedback. What could she tell me that I didn't already see? She gave it to me anyway. It was fine, she said. It was good that I spoke so much to the foundations as there were several new students in class. And yes she could tell that about halfway through class, I was in my head.
I left the studio trying to have a short memory but something still haunted me. We metApril, Hav, and D out at Mojo's and gradually throughout the night, I let go of the class I had taught.
This morning as I was gathering my clothes both for teaching tonight and my apres-yoga gear, I pulled from my closet the t-shirt I just received at Level 1. Emblazoned on the front is the dictum: "Preach all the time, sometimes even with words". Staring at the shirt, last night's class finally became clear.