- My mom regularly packed carob balls in my lunch growing up. This may be the root of our strained relationship.
- Wore homemade clothes to elementary school, which is high in hippie cred. But they were (mostly) cute and stylish, which would get you kicked out of any self-respecting hippie club.
- Took a backpacking trip across Europe and ran out of money.
- Met a strange guy at a train station in Salzburg who offered to help me find a place to stay for the night when all of the local pensiones were booked.
- Accompanied said guy on a train into Germany exiting, in the pitch of night, on a deserted platform a mile from our lodging.
- Did not consider my safety until same strange guy broke into my room in the middle of the night, standing over my bed wanting to “talk.” I screamed. He left.
- Wanted to be just like Anne, trustafarian DeadHead, with whom I worked at the espresso bar.
- List of cleanses I’ve tried, at least once, often more: Arise & Shine, only raw, only raw veggies and fruits, only fruits, master cleanse, only juices.
- Do you know what hydrotherapy is? I'm sorry for bringing this up. But I’ve experienced it in three separate cities. May have believed it a prerequisite for enlightenment.
- Went to a cleansing farm in the desert a couple of times. The second time Robin from Howard Stern was there also. Robin is my spirit animal.
- I know what a spirit animal is. I have a book about animal totems that I read when a new animal crosses my path. Today I saw a lizard, which can mean something about listening to one’s dreams.
- I pay attention to signs, save the kinds on the roads that are actually directional.
- Regularly set my intentions and burn them on the full moon even though normal hippies set theirs on the new moon. It’s just one of the ways I cultivate rebellion in my life.
- Number of yoga teacher trainings I’ve attended: too many.
- Last year I found a business card I had made during the years I used to daydream about ditching my corporate job and escaping to India. It read, “Vanessa Fiola, Crystal Healer.”
- One of the first spiritual healers I went to told me that I sighed too much. She made me repeat, “I release my need to sigh,” while tapping my heart chakra with my index finger 100 times. Not only do I still sigh, but now I’m self-conscious about it.
- Chakras.
- A past life regressionist/massage therapist working on Native American grounds “extracted” a “knife” from my back, apparently lodged there when I was a Civil War (Northern) soldier.
- Unwittingly found myself at a cuddle party in which I, incurable people pleaser, tried to politely and delicately extricate myself, without hurting anyone’s feelings, but ew.
- I had my baby at home. I took placenta pills on the chance that they actually work. I feel like I should tell you I shave my armpits.