Argentina

Argentina Diaries: Day 8 by vanessa

Of course Hav had already packed and of course I had not. He left to get us some coffee while I masterfully pushed, squeezed, and cajoled my purchases into an already crowded suitcase. We finally got breakfast at a restaurant on Santa Fe where we were its youngest patrons by at least three decades. I took this as a good sign. I really just wanted a breakfast taco and tried to order it in a roundabout way, but either my Spanish or the meaning for 'tortilla' differed. We ended up with a potato, egg, and cheese frittata, which was fine by me. (Post-note: I recently learned that 'tortilla' in Spain and Argentina is what we call 'frittata'.)

After breakfast (by this time, brunch), we walked through Las Canitas and Palermo in search of a notably chic jewelry store that's open daily but by appointment. "I just want to look in the window," I told Hav, "then decide if I want to call." Unfortunately, it seems the reason reservations are required is because there are no windows. We continued walking to Malba, a privately funded modern art museum.

I don't know how to describe nature, much less art, so I'm happy to read a quote in Malba's program from Oscar Buny, an artist whose work was there on exhibit:

I don't believe that art can be explained, deep down, what it leaves behind is always an unknown.

His work filled the third (or in Argentina, the second) floor. Much of his photography pieces captured death removed. For example, he frequently took pictures of men flopped on pavement. He overlaid the photograph with a piece of Plexiglas sprayed with bullet holes. I'm not sure I got the meaning, exactly, but I liked looking at the pictures. I stopped abruptly in front of a comparative piece. On the left was a prophetic portrait of the Twin Towers he'd done in 1996. Each tower had a bullet hole in it. On the right, at least ten times the size of its counterpart, was the ubiquitous, fateful 9/11 image of Tower One being blown up and the plane heading for Tower Two. The piece was titled, Osama 2001. I felt hollow and confused. I'm not an especially ethnocentric or patriotic kinda girl so reaction to these reminders of 9/11 have surprised me. Maybe it's being in a foreign country?

We left the museum, turned the corner, and went to what's billed as "Buenos Aires' Greatest Mall", which turned out to be a little bit like getting a massage and then helping someone move. I can report that malls are vacuous anywhere in the world. We left quickly.

Walking back to Palermo Viejo Hav and I had an awkward conversation about expectations and well, hooking up, or not, as it were. We remain in this hybrid, amorphous state in part because of our shared reluctance to pull out the magnifying glass when it comes to Us. I had questions but lacked the energy to probe. This trip has been a sublime experience and no one wants to look at the clock on vacation.

At 5 we returned to the apartment to wait for Cristina. We had packed our belongings and in the last hour before the airport we talked about what a great trip we'd had and how we should have taken Spanish lessons when we arrived. Oh well, next time we'll be prepared. Cristina came with a friend? Housecleaner? I had written her a note to say that I tried to wash the sheets but the upstairs door to the laundry was locked. (I always had to prepare in advance what I wanted to say.)

She took us through a checklist of questions, an "inquisition" we told her, when she asked for a word to describe the process of asking what we'd used or broken. Technically, inquisition missed the mark, but I couldn't think of a nice and tidy alternate. And then we spent the next hour with her teaching me Spanish and me teaching her English. She told me that when I return to BA (something in me blurted out "proximo ano" - huh?!) I'd have to stay with her at her house. She has a garden and a bathroom and bedrooms. We talked about the new president and Hilary Clinton and yes, Bush. We talked about everyday stuff really -- the way people who've just met speak, independent of barriers -- country, language, or otherwise. We exchanged addresses, a throwback practice that has a sincerity to it which escapes electronic mail.

She called a taxi for us. Eventually it came, and we were off. Our trip had a sense of completion to it. I didn't want for more time (save another day in Patagonia), yet I hope someday I'll return. I feel inspired to learn Spanish, and Italian, and French. My desire to live in a foreign country is renewed.

So that's it. My Argentina diaries as forthright as I know to be. At times journaling this seemed more chore than joy but more often it was the opposite. In fact, a typical scene would be sitting at a cafe waiting for our coffee or meal, and I'd pull out this notebook and start writing just after Scott got up to wash his hands or check something out. He'd return sooner than I expected and say "are you writing again, Vaness?" Yeah. I guess so.

Argentina Diaries: Day 7 by vanessa

We woke at 8 on Saturday. I misspeak. *I* woke at 8, while by this time Hav had already (no joke) gone on a run, taken a sauna, and put a load of wash in. The fact that it's our last full day here settled in, so naturally we had to see the Recoleta cemetery. Who doesn't love dead people? El Cementino de la Recoleta is where Eva Peron (Evita) is buried. The cemetery is also conveniently located in BA's fabled upscale shipping district. Ah hellz yeah.

We started our morning at Mark's, which is a café I've read about in both Time Out and Lonely Planet. Hav also went there the day before while I practiced yoga. May I tell you, the coffee es que bien, which is a fact that every tourist in Argentina must also know since we're surrounded by English speakers. A miraculously chatty South African and her 3 friends -- and by 'miraculous' I mean it's a miracle she had friends to travel with - I'm not sure the others got any words in -- sat down at a table behind us. As if it weren't obvious I'll go ahead and say it: I'm a snob. Six days earlier, barely able to order a coffee, I'd have killed to hear a little English. Yet now, nearing the end of our journey, it rang like nails on a chalkboard -- a cacophonous reminder that soon all would return to normal and I'd be back working a lot, teaching often, and trying to fit all of my other interests in between the gaps. On our first Patagonia hike Hav observed that I like to be busy. I disagreed, explaining that I just have a lot of curiosity and little patience. But, is there a difference?

We finished our coffee and cabbed it to the cemetery. Outside of the cemetery in a public square, artisans set up their booths for what appeared to be an annual feria de navidad. More souvenir shopping. Havis got a skirt for his friend Emmy while I managed to ignore the hard-sell on a crystal composed of aquamarine and quartz. Oddly, I can say no to a $20 crystal but am powerless to thousands of dollars worth of facials.

As I write this, my mood is surly at best, which I'm certain will color my recollection, but I'll continue anyway. What follows is a complete description of BA's Recoleta Cemetery. I'd like to think I'm saving someone the free admission.

1. Walk in. See a bunch of Americans from Highland Park, loud and affected. They are wearing polos with up-turned collars, a trend that is neither ironic nor retro chic. It's just retarded.

2. Stroll through rows upon rows of cement and marble mausoleums. There's much ado about death.

3. Head left-wards to Sarmiento's grave, said to be the only president Borges ever respected. There's a playful impression of Pan inscribed with something in Spanish mounted on his tomb. This is cool and I took lots of pictures which didn't turn out.

4. From Sarmiento's grave, head to the right, then to the left, dodge the rave-ready guy in red jeans and high tops taking a suggestive photo of his heroin-thin girlfriend (points for sexing it up in a cemetery), then to the right again. Follow the smattering of fanny packs and you'll come upon the grave of Juan Duarte and Eva Peron. I have to say, it's surprisingly modest and non-descript, save for the flowers affixed to the cast-iron gate. Perhaps the populists' president intended it this way. Either that or someone wanted to save a few bucks.

And that's pretty much it, unless you happen to know Argentine history. In which case you might find it more interesting than I did. Personally, my money's with the Hollywood Forever cemetery where even the graves have plastic surgeons, or the pedantic's darling, Westminster Abbey, or perhaps Paris' Père Lachaise. I did, however, take a picture of a mausoleum enclosed by glass doors etched with skulls and crossbones and hearts. Punk rock death is cool.

Outside of the cemetery is the BA Design Center, which is a mall mostly filled with home interior and artisan stores. If I lived in BA, I'd probably have been more interested in its wares, but since I don't, shopping felt unrealistic. From there we strolled past another huge mall with a Futball restaurant, a McDonald's, a movie theatre, and a honey pot of more Americans. We discussed seeing a movie -- 4 Mesas, 3 Semanas, 4 Dais, until we realized it wouldn't have English subtitles.

I need to work this out. Christ, I AM an American. So why do I feel so separated from a fair number of the ones we've encountered? Am I different? Does it count that I'm at least aware of my own hypocrisy? That I'm annoyed by their apparent lack of subtlety leads me to think this is really about my own need to belong, maybe? In the end, whatever. Pop-psychology is boring and life is much easier without mock introspection.

Anyway, Recoleta got old, fast. It's a little sterile. (Later I tried to translate this to Cristina (the apartment owner) using my Spanish dictionary. She laughed and told me only people can be "steril". Oops. I tried to exchange the word "pristine", but the dictionary failed to cooperate.) So we hopped a cab back to Palermo Viejo. The driver told us as we were departing that La Boca would be playing Milano tomorrow for the championship. Sweet, sweet man. One of the lone disappointments Hav and I have (and for your reading enjoyment, I'll recap my highs and lows when I'm finished journaling the trip) is that we couldn't see a La Boca soccer match. During early December the A team takes a break while the second string plays in foreign countries. Regrettably we scheduled the bulk of our trip during this hiatus.

I understood (incorrectly) the man to say that the game was at 5:30 p.m. Hav and I discussed postponing our trip and getting tickets. In retrospect, it would have been really funny to explain to my boss that I'd be late returning because we were staying to watch La Boca. Especially since it turns out that they played at 7:30 in the morning. In Milan. I'll finish this aside with a mention that La Boca lost 4 - 2.

In the comfort of our rented neighborhood, we delighted in our choice of potential barrios. Palermo Viejo, with its ample dog shit and graffiti, still had a vibrant charm of its own. I'm embarrassed to admit we went shopping AGAIN, but I swear it's the pressure of finding gifts for Christmas and not how we are normally. Mostly.

Tekal is a small fine chocolates store. You could fit the entire store inside an airplane bathroom. A queue had formed inside and at the front of the line was a woman haggling. Who does that?! Is that normal and acceptable in stores here? Could I have argued that I would pay $20 -- that's my final offer! -- for my precious gold sandals? Or maybe you can only bargain when you're willing to walk away, in which case chocolate is an easy bet.

From Tekal, I drug Hav over to Elemento, an accessories store where earlier in the trip a cute, tan satchel caught my eye. I threw it over my shoulder and smiled. "What do you think?" I asked Hav. "No me gusto," he answered flatly. Both the shop owner and I looked at each other in shock. "NO TE GUSTO," she asked incredulously? "Nope," he shook his head, "no me gusto." She went on to argue the quality of the leather and its bargain pricepoint to no avail. I used the out he inadvertently gave me and we walked out of the store.

Earlier in the day we let a message for Lorena, who's a friend of our friend Terry's. Terry said she was fluent in English and she'd show us a good time. Well hell, we always like good times. At 5:30 she returned our call but unfortunately she had made out of town plans for the night. She invited us to a dinner party for Sunday but we couldn't accept because we were scheduled to be in flight then. Instead we told her about a couple of parillas we were considering for dinner and she told us about two bars to hit afterward.

Don Julio's is a fantastic, traditional, family parilla. When we got there I was still full from my pizza lunch, so I ordered a salad for dinner which confounded the waiter. Hav's eyes were bigger than his stomach. He messed up - chorizo, a ribeye the size of a small country, potatoes, and a shared appetizer. The unfortunate thing about eating in a nice restaurant is that when you over-order, there's no dog around to bail you out. We did ask for a doggy bag, but it never came, which was just as well since we only asked for appearances.

It took us a while but we finally found the first of two bars Lorena suggested. Still ridiculously full from our meal, drinking sounded a miserable option. Dessert however, did not. We walked back to Freddo/Aroma (I can't believe we went to the chain 4 times!) and ordered our cafe con cremas.

That night I made the mistake of taking an Ambien so I could get a really full night's sleep. Every once in a while Ambien doesn't do the trick and instead I wake up the next day groggy and lethargic. And that's how Sunday began.

Argentina Diaries: Day 6 by vanessa

Thursday morning we awoke at 8. Though my body dreaded the hike ahead of us, my heart couldn’t wait. We packed our lunch (I added more bananas to my sandwich second time around) and made our way to the foot of the Laguna del Torre hike.

Unlike the day before, there was no wind and only a light drizzle. The guidebooks said our hike would be about 7 hours which meant that we got a late start. Technically this hike should’ve been easier than our last, but as I said, ratings don’t indicate cardio exertion. We climbed uphill for roughly one million miles. Fortunately, along the way, we got to see a condor (magnificent) and a couple of woodpeckers. The guidebooks say that if the weather conditions are favorable, then this hike is a must for a chance to see Cerro Torre unencumbered by clouds. As we trekked the sun started to peak out and we found ourselves shedding layers.

There’s a cool attributed to Patagonian hikes: often you’ll come to a point in the trail where it will split in two or ore directions without any signs for instruction. What you’ll find though is that the disparate paths all lead back together, with the shorter trails being harder and the longer ones easier. I couldn’t help but think of Rilke and wonder if the construction of the trails in this way was some intentional spiritual lesson.

Eventually we descended into a valley – its terrain different from the previous day’s. Hav mentioned that Patagonia is similar to Big Bend in its expansiveness and space. True, true, but Big Bend already has cell coverage.

At the edge of the valley we came to a moraine – the last climb before the lagoon. We scaled the glacial debris and atop the ridge there it was – Piedras Torre and the lagoon. Two small icebergs floated in the lagoon. This oasis seemed more spectacular than the one before. It coulda been that while yesterday we were in winter, today felt clearly like spring.

We sat down and just stared at it for a long time. In the mountains surrounding the glacier we heard a thunderous roar. Avalanche! We looked but saw nothing. It lasted maybe 15 seconds and when it was quiet again I wondered if anything had been lost.

The clouds started to lift and Cerro Torre threatened to lift its shirt. More people arrive – hardly crowded by any stretch but more populated than we were accustomed to. Hav went down to the water’s edge to skip rocks. Skipping rocks in a glacial pool is so much cooler than, say, Lake Travis. He returned after about five minutes with an iceberg’s remnant in his mouth. I bit off some too, just so I could say I’ve eaten iceberg.

Next we walked about 100 meters and perched ourselves in front of one of the two icebergs. It reminded me of a monochrome replica of Seattle’s Experience Music Project until I realized how f’ed up post-modern it is to say that nature imitates art. Hay-seuss. Anyway I am now certain Gehry has seen icebergs.

Begrudgingly we headed back after about an hour. We felt our fingernails clawing into the earth with each step. Where did the time go? This was, in fact, one of the first times I had thought of time – or how little of it we had left. It took me several days to shake my concerns of work and now that I finally had, I didn’t want to be reminded.

Rarely does a trip take longer on its return than its beginning. However, it was now downright balmy so we stopped often to sun ourselves like lizards. Many, many more hikers came, all taking advantage of the kind climate. About ½ way home, we turned around to catch a glimpse of where we’d been and there it was: Cerro Torre, completely disrobed, peeking above the hills. Damn. Cerro Torre is an ice-covered Exact-o knife. Though not the tallest in the Fitz Roy range, (that honor goes to Cerro Fitz Roy itself), it’s definitely the coolest looking. Its striking shape separates it from its peers. It’s the new, cook kid in lass, and we were lucky enough to hang with it.

We really couldn’t help ourselves so we kept stopping, but never staying as long as we’d have wished to in any one place. The clock ticked loudly and soon we’d be getting on a bus to head back to El Calafate. Given the choice, we took a different path back to town which turned out an excellent selection. The path to centre El Chaten offered high cliff walls, a waterfall winding hundreds of feet down a hill into a rushing Rio Fitz Roy.

Upon making our way into town, Hav stopped for ice cream and I for souvenirs. I also got a set of El Chaten playing cards. Ooh. One of the sucky things about looking for souvenirs in Patagonia is that naturally, all the t-shirts say “Patagonia” on them. That’d be okay ‘cept there’s a very famous clothing manufacturer who, at least in the States, has co-opted the name so that now, when my brothers are wearing a shirt that I travelled 18 hours to get, means nothing. I am not special nor are they. When I bring this up to Hav he reminds me that Patagonia (the company) is “actually pretty legit.” Yes. I know. He forgets that I, in this moment, don’t care about any of that corporate responsibility shit and I’m just concerned about an eroding sense of coolness.

We waited for the bus in the youth hostel, where the crazy Brazilian from the trail sat right behind us. He was talking to a guy from Chicago wearing a Michigan t-shirt. I don’t know what it is but whenever I see collegiate t-shirts in a foreign country I am always inclined to talk college sports. And because Ohio State beat Michigan and Ohio Sate is now in the championship while my beloved Mizzou is relegated to the Cotton Bowl, well it seemed like something to talk about. The fact that that same American also lived in Santiago for a year? BO-ring. P.S. Rancho Grande Youth Hostel overcharged me for our meal, but having failing Spanish I decided not to contend.

We boarded the bus at 6 p.m. The wide, open view of Cerro Torre taunted us on our way out of town. A tour bus in front of us pulled off the road to let its passengers take pictures. A clear sighting of Cerro Torre must be like witnessing Bigfoot. This prompted a string of unsuccessful attempts by our passengers to persuade our driver to follow suit. Not only was he not going to pull over, but evidently he was rude about it. An Italian woman returned to her seat mumbling, “Grazie mille. Molto gentile.” His repeated refusals resulted in a near mutiny amongst the passengers, which had no effect on this driver. Or so we thought. An hour down Route 40 with the mountains still in view, he pulled the bus over unannounced. In his poetic way he opened the door and simply said, “Foto.” Everyone got up and filed out. The Italian woman’s husband (who also complained earlier) was one of the last to get on the bus which irked the driver. I half expected him to start driving.

We stopped once again at Estancia La Leona. I eagerly anticipated the hot chocolate. This time however, Leona was nowhere to be found. Her sons, or whoever made my cocoa, not only over-charged me (see a pattern) but also delivered a mediocre drink. Plus the banana bread was eh.

Finally we returned to El Calafate at 9:30 p.m. Hav and I promptly headed over to our hotel whose name is Hotel Schilling but I call it “our little circus peanut” because it looks like a giant replica of that orange Halloween confection. We checked into our room, dropped our stuff off, then headed into town. We needed or wanted (I don’t really recall which) a drink. Lonely Planet gave an author’s pick to Casimiro, so we went there. I had a glass of wine and Hav a beer (he liked the Quilmes, Argentina’s national beer, Bock) and we shared quesadillas served with hot, hot salsa. I love hot salsa. Yay. We weren’t hungry but that hasn’t stopped us yet so we nearly ate the whole damn thing then waddled back to Circus Peanut.

In the morning we forewent the hotel’s complimentary breakfast because we assumed we could get something better in town. We’ll never know but I doubt it, primarily because at 9 in the morning on a Friday, nothing is open save a lone café whose waiter told me he’s “studying English but not American English, British English even the pronunciation.” Mmhmm. I can tell. I coulda sworn you were from Oxford. That’s catty I know, but my nationalism feathers had just been ruffled not 15 minutes earlier. As Hav and I cruised Av. Liertador waiting or something – anything – to open, we passed a store window full of t-shirts. One of the shirts had a stenciled image of a man whose beard spelled out the word “ALIVE”. I stared at the image of the man. “Is that Osho, Havis?” Osho… of course Osho in the middle of South America. Duh. “No,” he answered, “it’s Osama bin Laden.” I looked again and sure enough the stenciled image before me was the man who had waged jihad against America. This probably isn’t the time to go into detail about my political views, but suffice to say I think Fox News is fascist propaganda. I hold probably unconventional opinions about the big picture of 9/11 but still, WTF? If the point is that the US government has spent ungodly amounts of money and hundreds of lives have been lost in the pursuit of this man – okay – but why plaster a violent coward’s face on t-shirts and give him any more publicity? My reaction was visceral; the fact that I responded so emotionally surprised me.

At noon we left for Buenos Aires again. Bye bye Patagonia. I hope to be back. On LAN (which is an airline you should take if you’re ever in South America), they run some clips of a show called Just for Giggles. I think it must be British. It’s a hidden camera hijinks show. Not quite like Punk’d because it uses real people (everyone knows celebrities aren’t real). Anyway there’s a segment where they show cars all stopped at a traffic light. In the crosswalk there’s this hot blonde who makes eye contact with a driver, winks, smiles, then writes her number in the lipstick on his windshield and keeps walking. A second or two later a man with a squeegee comes to clean the windshield. The guy in the car freaks out as the number quickly disappears. Pure hilarity.

You’ll be happy to know that though two babies were on the plane they were a) quiet and b) not near me. However, as I write this, dogs are barking loudly outside my window. In fact, I’m only writing now because I’ve been woken by their yelps from my well-deserved nap. I’m again pissed at phantom owners. I fantasize about making t-shirts for a revenge that I know I’ll never exact. “Your dog is faking it” comes to mind. I like it but Hav reminds me that it could be interpreted wrong and that’d be kinda gross. Eventually we settle on, “Your dog’s only pretending,” which brought us both immense satisfaction.

At the airport in BA we Christmas shopped. Yep. At the airport. I’m really sorry to all my friends who pictured that the gifts they received were purchased in this charming store on a cobbled street in a hip neighborhood in Buenos Aires. Nope.

There’s a yoga studio near our apartment (actually there are two) and after we dropped our bags off we headed over so I could check the schedule. I ended up losing a 5 pesos bet that the studio didn’t hold classes on Saturday because the door misleadingly states, “Lundi y Viernes.” A chirpy, sweet girl at the counter explained the different classes they offered but because I hadn’t been there before I couldn’t take the SwaSthya. Which was fine with me because I still don’t even know what SwaSthya means, but Hav, defending my yoga honor said, “But she’s really good!” His insistence warmed my heart. At any rate, all the classes were in Spanish, and we all know how I’ve been faring there, so taking a beginners’ class suited me just fine. Incidentally, yoga here is 40 pesos (US$13), which is testament to the cost of living. While not LA’s $17 or NYC’s $21, neither is it pocket change.

An hour and a half later I ended up back at the studio and the girl at the counter earlier welcomed me into a waiting room. She’d be the teacher. The waiting room is a high-ceiling space with a low table in the center and chairs and big cushions positioned around it. A bunch of students were hanging out around the table. As new ones walked in, they went around and greeted each person with a kiss on the cheek. I eschewed the custom and quickly chose a seat on a cushion, pulled out my journal and buried my head in it, hoping not to be revealed. An impish girl ignored my obvious attempt at solitude and welcomed me with a peck on the cheek. And then she started talking to me. “Lo siento,” I told her, “no entiendo.” Another girl translated: “She said ‘Hi – where are you from?’” Ohhhhh! (I should know this but nothing seems to sound the way it looks in my Spanish dictionary.) “Los Angeles,” I answered. And then, the most incredible thing happened: the whole table started speaking to me in English, some broken, others fluent, asking me what I did for a living, was I in the earthquake, did I know Santa Monica, do I like Argentina, and where else have I been? As I answered each question and asked them my own, I felt connected to BA in a way that had previously escaped me. I couldn’t help but feel grateful for HOW MUCH community yoga has given me – at home and even across continents. The class was about to begin. I kissed all of my new friends goodbye and headed upstairs.

The floor in the yoga room was covered in that material you usually see under jungle gyms, so the teacher told me I didn’t need my mat. I pictured people sweating and standing with dirty feet all over where I would place my hands. I wanted to disagree, but I didn’t know the words, and after my hospitable welcoming, well, I figured when in Rome…

It’s a funny thing, taking a class in a language you don’t understand. Any semblance of a familiar practice in your body is abandoned to serve a more immediate need to just understand. Fortunately when I wasn’t doing as instructed she was kind enough to translate in English. We did a bunch of balancing, forward bends, and abs – which after 7 days of beer, bread, and cheese, I sorely needed. The class ended 55 minutes later and I changed clothes and headed back downstairs to the foyer where Clarisa, (our teacher), Hilary, (an American journalist who’s been living here for 4 ½ years) and Alexia (a 19 year-old portena who will be heading to fine arts school in a few months) were sharing sweetened chai. They offered me some and I accepted. I can’t tell you how much I cherished the conversation that ensued. We talked only about the usual surface stuff you cover with new acquaintances, but I felt as though I had crossed the first of many lines demarking tourist from local.

Hav came in and met us. They asked him where he was from to which he answered, “Oh I assumed she told you our whole story.” Initially I felt betrayed and then I felt relieved that I hadn’t. I mistakenly tried to broker the connection I experienced. A pregnant lull reared, and we all broke; Hilary, Scott, and I heading in the same direction. This afforded us more opportunity to mine her for information.
Q. How much is an apartment here to buy?
A. In Palermo Soho, which in her opinion and so far ours as well, it is about US$70k for a studio. A 2 ½ bedroom place would be about US$150k. The problem is that to buy here you really have to pay cash since the mortgage rates are so inconsistent and high.
Q. Are salaries commiserate with cost of living?
A. No, not really. The way to do it is to be employed by a foreign company so that you’re on US pay scales. She feels like she’s very wealthy in BA.
Q. Did I understand correctly that Cristina Fernandez de Kirchner was inaugurated on Monday and therefore it was a national holiday resulting in free subway fares? And that her husband was former president?
A. She didn’t know about the subway, but yes, Cristina was inaugurated and she succeeded her husband in the presidency. In fact, she has had a long political life and was actually much better known than her husband when he was elected. They don’t really have primaries here – it’s sort of like the parties decide internally, “hey this is who should run.” I mentioned that we saw campaign signs for her even in El Chaten. “That makes sense,” she told us, “because Cristina is from Santa Cruz (the province of El Chaten).” She went on to say that Cristina and her husband have a house in El Calafate and they are regularly there. “Havis – I told you!” I taunted. It’s true. While we were in El Calafate I told him I’d read that Kirchner had a house somewhere just of Av. Libertador, but he doubted my bank of Argentine trivia.
Q. Isn’t El Calafate like an Argentinean Vail – plenty of facelifts and fur coats?
A. Yes. It’s sort of a fabricated place, only there as a gateway to tourist spots.

And now, I am an expert on Buenos Aires, and really, Argentina. Go ahead. Ask me anything… except for how to speak Spanish.

We parted ways and Hav and I headed over to Dashi, the sushi place we attempted to go on my birthday. This time we made a back up plan of La Dorita. Fortunately we didn’t need our alternate plan and we ate a boatload (quite literally – they serve your rolls on a bamboo boat) of forgettable sushi.

One of my favorite experiences has been the long walks we take after eating. Walking is both a digestif and meditative exercise in one. Here, though taxis are pretty cheap, we have repeatedly chosen to stroll after meals for one to two hours. The five pounds that I’ve gained is probably testament to the quantity I’ve consumed rather than my activity level. I’d like to think I’ll continue this practice back home in car culture.

Argentina Diaries: Day 5 by vanessa

On Wednesday morning we woke up early (7 a.m.) and went to breakfast. Amidst all the usual breads, ham, and cheeses, at the edge of it all, I spotted it: a huge plate of fruit. Two in fact. Yes!! Oh my god, I nearly squeaked. Fruit!!! Reason enough why I highly recommend El Puma. We finished breakfast, packed little sandwiches for our hike and headed back to the room to gear up.

By 8 we were on our way and by 8:15 we stood at the foot of our first trek: Piedras Blanca. I'd like to describe the weather for a moment: Earlier that morning, say 4, we awoke to a massive wind storm. It's a testament to the craftsmanship of the little bed and breakfast that the walls did not shake. Havis peered out the window. We both expected that he would see flying objects swept up by the gale. Llamas, cars, whatever. He did not and we both went back to sleep . Now in daylight, four hours had passed since that first startle, and we assumed the worst was behind us. Yes, it was windy and rainy but at least we could move forward in it. The night before Hav asked me if I liked the wind. That's like asking me if I like dental surgery. This morning, I had dressed warmly and it occurred to me that dressing warmly made the wind seem less evil.

The day before in El Calafate, Hav begged me to buy a pair of windproof/waterproof pants. It's against my unspoken, whacked out principles to buy outdoor gear on vacation and especially when it's summer. Fortunately I listened. The Lulu yoga pants that I'd envisioned for this hike wouldn't have lasted me ten minutes. You see, as we moved, the wind slapped against our faces while the rain beat down sometimes softly, and other times fiercely, but always present. At one point during our trek Hav said, "Remember that hurricane we were in Alabama?" Yes, yes I do. "I don't remember the wind being THIS strong." I agreed. I wondered what I'd have to weigh to be lifted away. Several times along the way the wind pulled the earth out from under me.

On the hike you first ascend a couple of very large, forest-covered hills. They're the kind of climbs where under normal conditions you might second guess your choice for a hike. Then you descend into a valley. (Note: valleys are where the elements are harshest; not that at that point there was any option but to keep going forward anyway.) Eventually, after about 3 hours, you come to a sign which offers the choice of Camp Poincenot to the left or Piedras Blanco to the right. The arrow towards Piedras Blanco had a "30" inscribed next to it, which we later came to understand implied minutes. Our guidebooks mentioned nothing about this crossroad. We both knew we could get there via Camp Poincenot. It seemed to good to be true that there could be a shortcut. We decided at first to take the shortcut anyway, but shrouded in doubt we abandoned the idea after 15 minutes and turned back. A 30 minute detour in the blistering conditions felt a significant loss. We both had icy and weary limbs and then it started to hail. Hard. We made our way back to the sign and got back on course. (Only later would we realize that to get to the glacier quicker, we could have continued on the, umm, detour.) After crossing through Camp Poincenot (named after a Frenchman who met his fate trying to cross Rio Fitz Roy) we came to a bridge for Rio Blanco. The wooden hand rail on one side did little to soften my fear. Two feet beneath me there were ice cold rapids and the wind seemed hell bent on taking prisoners. We made it across the river to the final ascent to the glacier. This part of the hike is considered "medium" in its difficulty. A note about guidebook rating systems: Difficulty connotes technical levels and speaks nothing directly to cardio-vascular conditions. These mountains are not treadmills. Medium, in these conditions, meant we had to hop riverbeds without the luxury of man-made assistance and boulder our way forward.

Still, at this point thoroughly soaked, our outdoor gear had done the most we could expect from it; cold, and still an hour away from our destination, it occurred to me that I couldn’t recall a time within the last year that I had been THIS happy. Here I was, cold, wet, sore, with several more hours of hiking in front of us, and the weather showing no signs of reprieve. Yet, in the midst of it all, I found myself utterly blissful. I felt a peaceful confidence -- an awakening. Despite our conditions, beauty surrounded me. Meanwhile, back in LA where my life is indisputably comfortable, I am overcome with angst over the 10 pounds I gained two years ago that I can't seem to shake. What a curious paradox. Everything I busy my brain with: why can’t I lose this weight? am I doing a good job at work? am I a good yoga teacher? And really -- am I good *enough*?... now appeared so small and meaningless. In the middle of Patagonia, on a hike in callous weather, it was here I finally noticed that all those tangible things -- the things I think I want that always exist in a future state, have no correlation to freedom. Appropriately, even the stillness of this understanding couldn't be held. I suppose I have to write it down so that later when I'm stuck in my life and my story again I can read these words and remember that ah, yes, grace is always here.

We carried on, eventually finding our way to heaps of boulders where the trail became indistinguishable. Benevolent hikers had placed little piles of stones on top large rocks, like lanterns on a darkened path. Placing my fingers in the tiny crevices and wedging my foot in a barely noticeable crack, all to hoist myself up -- it occurred to me that THIS is how physics should be taught -- in practical, real life application. Had I had that, my relationship to science classes might have been very different. And then, after scaling and climbing (oh, thank you Keen), we saw it: Laguna Piedras Blanco and its magnificent glacier.

Fog rose over the lagoon. In the backdrop rested a brilliant mass of ice with a kaleidoscope of blue. (The more compacted the ice, the shorter the waves of white light, hence the color. You probably knew this, but this English major didn’t.) In fact, nature needs no superlative which ends up saving my ass since any attempt to describe my awe would fall short. We sat there for as long as we could, soaking in its prehistoric wonder, which is to say we made it about 5 minutes before standing stationary became unbearable. Our plan was to have lunch at the glacier but there were no dry options, so we retreated and found a makeshift fort of two huge rocks under which we crouched. I ate the best damn butter, banana, and honey sandwich EVER. In any other condition I’d have chosen nothing over the odd tasting butter and hardened bread, but desperation dulls the palette. We ate lunch, traded out our freezing, soggy gloves for socks-turned-mittens, then headed back to El Chaten.

In that kind of weather, the vision becomes singular. There is no choice but to press forward. We passed several hikers on our return who asked us, “How much further?” We couldn’t lie. We also passed a crazy Brazilian (we overheard him talking the next day in the hostel, so this adjective is verified), iPod blaring louder than the wind, knee-kicking his way up the mountain, and, oh yeah, shirtless. SHIRTLESS! I imagined him killing puppies for fun.

8 hours after we started we made it back to town, first stopping at Rancho Grande for a cup of hot cocoa and a beer. Weary as I felt, I was also a little bit smitten with myself, honestly, for having the stamina to go on a long hike carrying a water-logged loaded pack and completing the trip in shorter than estimated time. You can take the girl out of Type A, but you can’t take the Type A out of the girl. So we stopped long enough to drink our drinks and then I headed back to El Puma and Hav headed into town to look for souvenirs. Note: souvenir shopping is stressful. I like buying presents, but there’s little joy in the pressure I feel to find my friends something both useful and meaningful that won’t end up in their garage sale pile in a year. I should make it clear that no one asked me for anything so this, of course, self-imposed.

I took a bath and fell asleep in the water. I feel kinda lucky that I didn’t drown, but I guess God wanted me around long enough to preach the message, Don’t bathe and sleep, kids! After my bath Hav returned and while he took his I went out to the communal sitting area and wrote. I saw Andrea again and we talked about music, travelling, and graciously she helped me learn some more Spanish.

At 8 we went for dinner and I ordered the risotto again, this time SIN jamon. Soy vegetariana, I explained. “Ah yes,” the waitress replied, “I saw you picking out the bacon.” Busted. I also ordered a red wine mushroom soup that I must figure out how to make. Hav ordered some meat filled ravioli in a meat stew. It’s sort of a wonder that they don’t serve meat jelly or meat ice cream here. My risotto came and I am embarrassed to admit that without that nasty ham I so skillfully avoided, it was pretty bland. I tried to pretend like I liked it anyway but my charade was obvious. After our meal we prepared our hiking clothes again, and went to sleep.

Argentina Diaries: Day 4 by vanessa

On Tuesday morning we had to get up ridiculously early (4 a.m.) to catch a 6 a.m. flight. Aeroparque Airport is only 15 minutes away but the night before I tried unsuccessfully to book us a taxi. Believe it or not it wasn't because of my Spanish -- turns out they require a home phone number and the phone at Cristina's (which she told us not to use) didn't have a number on it and they wouldn't accept my American cell phone as local. Bitches. To assuage Havis's nerves, we got up extra early in the event finding a taxi proved difficult. It didn't.

Aeroparque is a swank airport. I highly recommend it -- even if you just want something to do -- you know, go to a club, to a nice restaurant, maybe a movie... OR you can hang out at the airport. In my book it's right up there with Stansted and AUS. It's also curious why they reserve the nice, shiny airport for domestic and South American flights only, while the international base (EZE) is a crest-fallen Blanche Dubois.

It is no secret I can't stand babies. On airplanes. So it's no wonder then that directly behind me was a probably 18 month old with colic and Tourette's of the leg. At one point I got so annoyed with the incessant kicking that I turned around, removed my eye mask (for effect) and said, "Por Favor!" I suppose it's fortunate that my vocabulary is limited to pleasantries and ordering meals. Speaking of meals, for a three hour flight to our stopover in Ushuaia, LAN provided a huge sandwich full of jamon, so I passed, and some cookies (which I also passed on) but bequeathed both to my travel partner. Fortunately, at Ushuaia, which is the southernmost city in the world they'll have you know, the baby and his parents departed. I felt like this whole me-and-babies-on-airplanes business is some kind of whacked out karma or The Secret on 'roids. I swear, 80% of my flights (and I'm Platinum, yo) I get loud baby next to me. In truth it's not the babies I take issue with. It's their parents. If I ever write a book (or perhaps I should start with an essay), at least one chapter will be devoted to this, entitled, "Don't You Remember What It Was Like Before You Had Kids."

Onward. After our brief stop in Ushuaia we took off again for Patagonia. At noon we landed in El Calafate, which is Spanish for, "Suckaaahh." I shouldn't complain -- their prices are still not as bad as LA. In fact, many have touted Argentina as a cheap vacation. While parts of it are indeed cheap (.70 for Tide!), other prices are comparable to what we're used to in the States. And I so hope that Argentina attracts the kind of travellers who are interested in more than just a good deal.

Our cab driver took us to Casablanca on Av. Libertador. Finally! Exciting salads! I chose a make-your-own number with beets being one of those numbers. Alas, they waited til nearly delivering my food to tell me "no beets today."

Enough about food. Well almost. Later on while I ordered tea at a cool hangout called Elba'r, Hav ordered a submarino, which is a brilliant concoction of steamed milk with a chocolate bar dropped in it. It's such a treat because it gets chocolatier and chocolatier as you drink it.

So, El Calafate is known as a tourist town which serves as the gateway to Patagonia. From here you can take tours to Moreno Glacier, Bariloche, El Chaten, and loads of other places. The town feels a bit like Hood River with a contingency of kids, the outdoor enthusiast types, who obviously make their way there to work, smoke a lot of pot, and chill for the summer. I admit to betting on the whole pot thing but it seems a safe one. The town has a river at its west end, loads of cute artisan and sporting goods shops lining its main street, while the northeast end appears to be for locals.

When you walk up the hill to where the bus station is, you catch a glimpse of how the locals live, which appears markedly different from the pristine storefronts on Av. Libertad. Walking around, waiting for our bus, it felt a little bit like peeking inside someone's medicine cabinet, but at least it's real.

We headed to the supermercado to get supplies four our stay in El Chaten: water, (check); foil, (check); and Band-Aids (nope). It could be because I mistakenly asked the girl for un vendaje (bandage) when any fool knows that Band-Aid is "la curita” in Spanish.

At 6:30, after waiting in the super windy wind for an hour we finally boarded and headed out to El Chaten. We had a 3 1/2 hour ride ahead of us.

The drive to El Chaten takes you along Rte 40 which follows a beautiful view of the middle of nowhere. It's been said that nature's been kinder to other areas of the world, and this is true, yet Patagonia holds its own. Perhaps it’s the vast nothingness which makes it a little bit like Russell Miller -- this guy I went to high school with. While he was no Greg Johnson, (RIP), he's no slouch either, and had a heart of gold and a simple quietness. I found him infinitely attractive. I wonder what he looks like now?

Rte 40 is an interstate, mostly paved. When it is, it's a smooth, softly winding ride. When it's not, it's like four wheeling in a Pinto. Fortunately, we stopped 1/2 way, at Estancia La Leona, which as best as I can tell is an inn of sorts catering solely to tour bus passengers. It sits on a river and a sign in the gift shop indicates they rent fishing equipment, but there were no cars in the parking lot when we arrived, and nothing else around for as far as one can see. That said, if you happen to find yourself in the middle of Patagonia, definitely stop here. Leona makes a bomb hot chocolate. Seriously.

We continued, finally arriving at our destination at the foot of the Andes. Specifically, El Chaten is at the cusp of the Fitz Roy range. At 10:00 at night it was only dusk and I couldn't help but think, "Holy shit, I'm in the Andes." I felt very exotic.

Perhaps not so exotic but no less charming, is that El Chaten is only 23 years old. I could’ve babysat that town. Constructed in 1985 in an attempt by Argentina to lay claim to land before that wily Chile got to it, it is split into tow sections, Centro and North, with an eroding distinction between them. There are no zoning laws, evident by the gigantic red hotel in the middle o town. I heard that only 300 people live there and next year they're getting a cell tower. Oh joy. From several spots in the town you can take trails into the Fitz Roys. But first, we got off the bus and walked to our hotel, El Puma.

What a great little (*cough* expensive) place. Let me say that it is about a three to five minute walk from the bus stop, aka Rancho Grande Youth Hostel (a bustling, smoky habitat for travellers, youth or otherwise). The distance is important because El Puma's grand generosity extended to several invitations to drive us to the youth hostel. We declined, of course.

Andrea, the girl at the front desk, deciphered my poor Spanish and answered me in English. Sadly, her English is better than my own. They only had single beds, unfortunately, she told us. By that point we so didn't care. Despite getting in at almost 10, she encouraged us to eat dinner in Terray, the house restaurant. It should be obvious by now that we've eaten our weight in bread and were in no position to accept her invitation but damn it, it was free food. And by 'free' I mean breakfast and dinner were included in our $180 a night (that's US dollars, folks) hotel room with three twin beds. We compromised and agreed to split something.

We settled on the green bean risotto, or so it was called on the menu. What they delivered was pea risotto with bits of ham in it. Oh naturally -- of course green bean risotto includes ham. At this point, because they kept the restaurant open late for us and I'm a seemingly incurable people pleaser, I ate around the ham. Actually I ate all the lima beans and peas, but no risotto. (I have an inconsistent way of rationalizing nearly anything. At any rate, eating *anything* that meat has touched is a new frontier for me.) Hav was much less discriminating than me whom I appreciated, and I fed him some of mine so we would appear grateful.

And finally, at midnight, we went to bed.